25 ‘Deviously’ Inspirational Quotes
Does the basic nature of most inspirational quotes leave you feeling uninspired?
Inspiration – a Dish Best Served Cold
Inspiration – we need it now more than ever. But most inspirational quotes are so cheesy in substance that they’d work better on a pizza than in your Twitter feed. Since these days I’m trying my hardest to avoid carbs, I thought I would dig through the annals of history to serve up something a little different. So, here are 25 of the most ‘deviously’ inspiring quotes I could find, for those who prefer their motivation served cold.
1. Bertrand Russell on his beliefs.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
2. Alex Haley on inadequate people in power.
Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.
3. The Arnold with his take on reality.
It’s simple – if it jiggles, it’s fat.
4. Benjamin Jowett on the equality of men.
One man is as good as another until he has written a book.
5. Bill Hicks on comedy.
It’s always funny until somebody gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
6. Bill Watterson on life.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
7. Charles Dudley Warner speaks on the weather.
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Charles Dudley Warner
8. Charles M. Schulz on mankind.
I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand.
Charles M. Schulz
9. Don Marquis on procrastination.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
10. George Carlin with another take on the weather.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
11. Herbert Hoover on equality.
All Men are equal before fish.
12. Jean Giraudoux talks about mediocrity.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
13. Jim Carrey with his take on great men.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
14. Josh Billings with his thoughts on flattery.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
15. Lily Tomlin on love.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
16. Lily Tomlin (again) on being somebody.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
17. Milton Berle on ‘committees’.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
18. Oscar Wilde on temptation.
I can resist everything except temptation.
19. P.J. O’Rourke on cleanliness.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O’Rourke
20. Robin Williams on ‘agreement’.
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
21. Rodney Dangerfield on weight management.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
22. Spike Milligan on seasickness.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
23. Stephen Fry on aging.
I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
24. Stephen Hawking on life.
Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.
25. W. C. Fields on wine.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Doni “The Brawn” Cordoni is a musician, comedian, & travel buff who was hailed “an expert in all topics” by a drunk guy once.
🎧 Music @ doni.land
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